Last night I was left feeling anxious and detached from God. As I have been praying for Him to search my heart and reveal the sin within, He gently showed me many things. The past few days I have been consumed with activity, both physical and mentally. The timing of SOM and the launch of the W@C Bible study were, well, let's just say its easy to be a Martha. While this is going on, the return of Jesus seems to be rapidly approaching. To be honest, this frightens me. There are few other things that grieve my heart more than knowing that if Christ were to return today, my family would not be taken up with me. God revealed one thing in particular. I was angry with Him. Why not my family? Why can't they be apart of the kingdom now? Why do I have to go all of these life experiences without their support and understanding? You can see how part of my frustrations were selfish. As I confessed and asked for forgiveness, He reminded me that His mercies are new each day. I have made many mistakes lately and sometimes it is most difficult to extend grace to myself. I was still beating myself up over things and then I read Psalm 136 today. Every other line is for His mercy endures forever. Our great God has called us to holiness and we fall short every time and will continue to do so. But His mercy endures forever. Even when our anger is toward our awesome and wise Creator, his mercy endures forever. Thank you Father for your sweet and gentle embrace, for the reminder of who you are, and for your mercy.
-- Erica Freese
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